ache and grace

it's so easy for this time of year to be painful. to be a reminder of all that's broken. in me, there's an ache instead of gratitude. but I'm pressing deeper into Jesus to feel the gratitude. 

because I am grateful.

I'm grateful for this life of mine. it's broken. and sometimes (a lot of times) life just sucks. but today at church as I wept at my awareness of brokenness and emptiness, I was surrounded by other believers who were there to pray for me and encourage me.

I'm grateful for getting to celebrate thanksgiving today with some of my closest college friends. and getting to spend thanksgiving with my grandparents. and getting to see my family. 

I'm grateful for being able to feel the pain. for being able to feel God's healing love. because He's healing me. He's healing the broken pieces of me.

so for any of you who are feeling the brokenness going into thanksgiving week, God loves you in the messy. in the broken. you don't have to be fake. God longs to be real with you and show you His deep, deep love. and His grace for your aching, shattering heart. Thanksgiving is sometimes simply a time of pressing into that grace and begging Him to feel grateful. because it's easy to be angry, bitter, and resentful for the broken. so I'm begging Him to make me grateful. because I'm not really empty. 'cause He's filling me up.

to make me feel more deeply His love, because ultimately, that's what I'm grateful for. love running over my cup, grace, pressed down, shaken out into my lap, spilling over. all of it, undeserved. and seeing His face look at mine with tender love.